Friday, July 31, 2015

CCP's Survivor-Themed Fundraiser 2014

I'm heading out right now to participate in my second year of a fundraiser for a theatre group.  It's not an open mic, a cabaret, or a party.  One of Toronto's longest running theatre groups, Curtain Call Players, hosts an annual Survivor-themed weekend at a lake in Southern Ontario, organized by the most amazing stage managers and set builders & artists you can imagine.  Believe it or not, I joined the group, playing Inga in Young Frankenstein, before I knew about this.  Last year was so much fun I didn't hesitate to sign up again.  

For a fun DIY camping experience, it's pretty legit.  Virtually only given a tarp & some pegs, fire supplies, & a bag of rice, & a Port-A-Potty (we're theatre people, not monsters), for 3 days we go through a continuous hourly cycle of Reward Challenge, Immunity Challenge, Tribal Council, Redemption Island, and then all over again until we're at the Final Tribal Council.  We had Hidden Immunity Idols, a Tribe Swap, a Merge, an Auction, a blindside so fierce it almost cost 2 bros their friendship, and emotions.  So many more emotions than I had thought would be felt, were.

The whole weekend was filmed, and has been edited into episodes which have been released to us on a weekly basis. As of right now, the final episode hasn't been released yet, but I will update this post the second it is & I have Internet access again, that is.  So for everyone who's ever asked me if I would ever play Survivor if I could, & how I think I would do, enjoy!  


Episode 1, aka Lisa Uses Survivor Challenge Knowledge to her Advantage:


Episode 2, aka Theatre Groups Incorporate Dance Into Challenges:


Episode 3, aka The Blindfold Challenge


Episode 4, aka Tribe Swap


Episode 5, aka The Merge


Episode 6, aka The Auction:


Episode 7, aka A Challenge Is Thrown:


Episode 8, aka Lisa Cries:


Episode 9, aka Fallen Comrades:


Episode 10:
TBA





















Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Survivor: Worlds Apart - LEGO - Rodney's Damn Birthday

Upon their return to camp after a Tribal Council that saw Shirin leave, but votes being thrown towards Dan, Dan starts trying to figure out who voted for him.  Will, one of the 2 who did, says Hey man, let's not do this.  Tyler says that he felt like he had no other choice, & later, Will confesses to Dan that he voted for him, too.  Dan gets super intense in a losing-your-mind kind of way.


The next morning, it's noted that it's Rodney's birthday.  For the first of 21 times.  I counted.  Rodney is hoping to win the reward because he's going stir-crazy stuck at camp.  Various tribe members throw it out there that they'll make sure he goes on a reward today.  Will says even if he has to give up his spot, he'll do that.  Rodney is confident.  "They're gonna take me on this Reward.  If I don't go on the Reward, it will be a sad, sad day.  I mean, my whole game will change.  But guess what?  The chances of that happening are 0.0000% chance, 'cause that's how much faith I have in these people."

The Reward Challenge involves teams unspooling ribbons on a may pole, releasing a key, which will unlock balls.  The balls need to land in targets via a catapult they need to jump on.  First team to finish wins Reward, which is delivering supplies to local orphans, and a BBQ.  There's a Schoolyard Pick to choose teams, & Will is left out.  This seems to upset Rodney because Will was going to give up his spot because, you know, birthday.
The Survivor gods don't give a fuck about birthdays, though, & Sierra, Carolyn & Mike win.  Jesus is thanked, but not by Rodney, whose team lost due in part to him having to go back for his lost balls at one point.


Despite Rodney's confidence that there was a 0.0000% chance that he wouldn't be going on this Reward, nobody is giving up their spot.  Sierra notes that she would have chosen him to join had it been an Individual Reward, but she never said she'd give up her own spot.




At the Reward, everyone is having a party like it's their damn birthday.  They're playing, eating, laughing - they are not relaxing, bro.
Forget about making orphans happy - the best thing to come out of the Reward was this exchange between @SonOfMomOfKai & @SpencerBGM on twitter.

I feel like aside from the misogyny we saw earlier this season, Rodney may be my SpiritBro.  It's like he exists just to deliver amazingly angry soliloquies.  "Fucking washing dishes on my birthday.  Nine miserable days left on this island that doesn't even grow fucking coconuts or any fruits.  Nothing!  It just has nothing here.  0 for 5 in Reward Challenges, and a bunch of scumbags who neglected me ON MY BIRTHDAY, who claim to be Survivor Family...now all bets are off.  Bunch of scumbags.  Not one Reward.  Unbelievable.  Caroline (why are names so hard for anyone to learn this season?) & Sierra...they ain't going to the end.  The only people who are going to the end under my watch...is me.  That's it."  And it's punctuated with an angry kick on the beach I MEAN HE IS GOLD.


Rodney joins Will, Tyler, & Dan at the camp, still ranting about his shitty birthday.


Rodney comes up with a plan to feign a quit.  He'll tell everyone he's done & wants to be voted out, Mike won't play his idol, & they can get him out.  It's not a terrible plan.

That night, Rodney puts on a show.  "I wish Tribal Council was today so you guys could put my name down.  Okay?  Have fun.  Have fun with your little game.  This is a bunch of fake-ass people - I'm done.  I need to get home to my real family.  I'm all set.  Mama C who's supposed to be a Mother, who says Oh, I love you Rodney, you're like a son to me.  You're like a son to me?  That's like saying if you leave your son home & you'd go out partying, & watch your son be deserted, at home.  DOING CHORES.  While you were out ON MY BIRTHDAY & I claim to be your son?  It's all fake...If it was any other day it wouldn't matter, but it was my damn birthday..."


For all his incredible work in that scene, it was for naught, as Mike didn't fall for it.  Tyler asks Carolyn in a roundabout way if she'd consider playing the idol for him.  She answers with a very common Mom technique, called Let's Talk About That Later.

The Immunity Challenge involves standing on platforms, leaning back over the water, holding onto a rope. Rodney is struggling & Probst notices.


Will falls first.


Dan is next.


Carolyn wins Immunity, meaning Mike has to play his idol if he wants to stay in the game.  Carolyn suggests that the guys vote Mike, and the girls vote Tyler.  Dan is concerned his name may be written down again, because Will wrote his name down before.  Rodney assures him that Will is with them 100%.  He is really all or nothing with his percentage predictions, whether it's 0.0000% or 100%, & I respect that.

Tyler makes plans to vote Dan with Will & Carolyn, to get rid of Dan's 2 vote advantage, but Carolyn is still torn over the best move for her.

At Tribal Council, Mike says he's playing his idol, & is enjoying that one of the 6 have to go home.  "I've got the fireworks out, some popcorn, some Pepsi..."


Good lord, if these people won't throw Rodney a birthday party, then Kai & I will.


Tyler tells Probst he'd be surprised if he's the one voted out.  Mike plays his idol, and we all get to see Tyler's surprised face.


Tyler is asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately.




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Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Survivor: Worlds Apart - LEGO - Rodney Time

After a Tribal Council that saw Will continue his tirade of disrespectfulness, Shirin is reflecting on how awful the experience was.  Dan, someone who had previously wished for someone to just slap that woman already, is "really sorry about what happened last night at Tribal."  PUKEPUKEPUKE


Shirin asks Dan which part he's sorry about, & turns out he wasn't really paying attention.


Dan then has a confessional, and I CAN'T EVEN.  "Apparently there's violence in her history.  If that's the case, I feel very bad for her."


I wish the Reward Challenge had been trying to figure out the most offensive part of that sentence.  The "if that's the case", or the "however, that being said"?  Dan continues: "...Shirin is a drama queen, she is a two-faced liar, she looooovvvves to play the victim."  YOU AREN'T PLAYING THE VICTIM IF YOU'RE THE ACTUAL VICTIM, ASSHAT.

The Reward Challenge is actually a team race to get across a sandbox using only barrels & planks.  Winning team gets burgers (with cheese, Probst adds, making them, you know, cheeseburgers) & pie.  Various strategies are used.



Tyler, Dan, Will, & Carolyn win Reward - because if there's one person we all want to watch shove a burger in his face, it's Dan.  Dan says he feels bad that Rodney hasn't won a reward yet.  Probst points out that he can give up his spot to Rodney if he'd like.  Dan is silent, & most likely cursing Probst in his head, & Rodney shakes his head & says "I'll get mine.  It's all good."  And in that moment, I want Rodney to have all the cheeseburgers.  All of them.

Back at camp, Rodney performs a soliloquy I may use at my next audition.  "I haven't been able to leave this beach once.  I didn't go on one fucking reward.  I'm fucking pissed.  It's miserable, I'm not eating enough food, I'm shaking...I got an itchy beard, I haven't showered, my nails are nasty...did I say I'm miserable? Everybody's had a break, but I've just been locked in my cell 24-7, not being able to burst out & have some fun.  I need some Rodney time.  For my sanity, I need to get out of here."  Not to mention, he misses Joaquin something fierce.


I AM LOVING RODNEY ON THIS SHOW.

At the Reward, Tyler focuses his energy on keeping Dan thinking about Mike.  "All he can see is top 6."


The Immunity Challenge involves holding a handle with a rope attached to a bag weighing 25% of their body weight (as of Day 1).  Up for grabs are Immunity necklaces - one for the last man and woman standing.  Carolyn wins the Immunity for the women, and it's down to Rodney and Mike for the men's.
 Dan is super creepy & whispers in Rodney's ear.



Rodney can't hold on any longer - or perhaps, he let go just to shut Dan up.  Mike wins Immunity.  Shirin is bummed she didn't win Immunity, too.


The rest of the tribe is thankful Shirin didn't win, because even though they can't get Mike out, it's an easy vote for them.  Shirin goes on a Here's-Why-You're-Stupid Tour of Merica, pointing out that she's not a threat, & they could be voting out Tyler.  Both Dan & Sierra say they agree with her, but their alliance is voting for her, so...

CBS finally shows Tyler doing something interesting, & that's stealing Dan's bag to root through it & find out what the auction's advantage is.  He discovers it's an extra vote, and shares that info with Carolyn.

Mike tries to convince Dan to vote Tyler, & is remorseful that his antics at the auction have affected a once tight alliance.  But the fact that Dan won't give him a second chance is making Mike wary of Dan.  "It's sad that you put your faith & trust in someone, & they turn out being a lot different than you thought they were."

At Tribal Council, the jury enters & everyone I'm watching with is distracted.  Everyone.
Shirin's past is brought up by Probst, & Dan has something to contribute & I CAN'T EVEN.  I CAN'T EVEN EVEN WITH THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO EVEN THIS SEASON.



Even Probst is like Shut the fuck up, bro, that is not even in the same universe as Shirin's situation.

Mike pulls out his Hidden Immunity Idol & declares that he's going to play it for Shirin.  Shirin is going to vote for Tyler, & he's going to vote for either Will, Rodney, Sierra or Dan.  So they can vote for Tyler with Shirin, or it might be them going home.  Shirin geeks out over both the play & the idol & it's adorable.  Even more adorable is how she skips off to vote while everyone else is still slack-jawed.
When it comes time to play the idol, Mike puts it back in his pocket with an "I love you, girl."  His bluff was enough to send a few extra votes Dan's way, letting Dan know he's on the bottom.  The bluff wasn't enough to save Shirin, who geeks out at having her torch snuffed.  <3 <3 <3

Everyone claps when Shirin is voted out, & it's gross.

Shirin leaves the Tribal Council area immediately, & with much joy.



#TEAMSHIRIN forevs.



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Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Survivor: Worlds Apart - LEGO - Periscope & Horrible Human Behaviour

Last week I had no time to write a recap, so Kai & I attempted a live LEGO recap of episode 9 via the live-streaming app Periscope.  It was, as I expected, a little bit of disaster, but it seemed to go over well with the live viewers who couldn't be placed in the category of Survivors specifically trying to get under my skin.  JK, it even went over well with people who could be placed in that category.  I saved it to my phone, & it looks quite pixelated - I heard from a few that it was a little pixelated in the broadcast - was it like that for everyone?  If you tuned in, please let me know.  Anyway, the video is below if you would like to watch LEGO Will slide down the slide like a dead fish, have Kai give you a tour of our LEGO Minifigure tackle box, & hear Kai attempt to sing Hold Up, Bro.  Download Periscope, because it's super fun.

video

**UPDATE**
I just learned from Kai's twitter feed that we will be doing a Periscope this Sunday.  So I guess that's happening.


This week's episode made me nauseous for several reasons, but we'll focus on the biggest one: the continued bullying of Shirin, which crossed the line from constant to excessive to what the fuck is wrong with these people.

I understand that not all viewers love Shirin the way I do, the way the Survivor bloggers/podcasters/tweeters I call my friends do - and to that I say that a lot of people also think Rupert is a strategic mastermind, & think Russell Hantz is a swell guy.  Opinions are great!  Have them.  Share them. Amazingly, you can do that without being cruel, or without personally attacking someone. Novel idea, I know.

The tribe returns from camp after voting Joe out, & the next morning Mike overhears Rodney plotting with Carolyn, Tyler, & Will.  Rodney has flipped on the Blue Collars & that is such a No Collar thing to do.

It's auction time & Trader Jeff's is open for business.  First item remains covered, & Will buys it for $100.  It's a piece of paper, & Will gets excited & everyone else is swearing.  He opens the paper & reads it.  Advantage in the next challenge?  Clue to an idol?  Nope.  Turns out Will bought himself out of the auction & has to leave Trader Jeff's immediately.

Next item is Chicken & Waffles & Shirin bids $300, saying she didn't want to bid on an advantage at the auction so she just wanted to go for it.  Before the advantage comes up, Probst brings out letters from home & Shirin uses her Superfan powers to let everyone know that whatever they're bought at, everyone else can buy at that price.  So Sierra buys her letters for $20 & everyone else is able to do the same.  Not all those who have been holding out for the advantage want to give up an extra $20 that could secure them that prize.  Dan is already in tears, pleads with them to please all do it, & Mike says Of course, after you, bro.  And then after Dan buys his letters, Mike turns & walks away without buying his.  Even Probst seems taken aback by such a bold move.  It was amazing, & I wish he hadn't reneged on it.  Yes, horrible, horrible social move, but it's the kind of move people write songs about to be set to LEGO minifigures.  Carolyn calls bullshit & gets up to return her letters - how is that a thing you can do?  Dislike.  Mike can't take it & buys his letters.

The 3 who held out for the advantage - Carolyn, Dan, & Mike all bid their remaining money - $480, & draw rocks to see who wins it.  Dan pulls the white rock & yells "Yeah, Baby", & Carolyn is confused & thinks she won for a moment.

Back at camp, Will is alone & devastated & sad music plays & this is the last time anybody feels sorry for Will.  Turns out he gets a secret stash of food, & he decides to bring it all back to share with Merica.

Mike immediately starts putting a spin on his Auction move, telling Sierra & Dan that the only reason he almost didn't buy his letter was because Rodney flipped on their alliance.  He then proceeds to call Rodney out in front of everyone, & Rodney handles it masterfully.  Yes.  Rodney throws it back at Mike, expressing disbelief that he's ruining everyone's moments with their letters from home.  Merica starts nodding their heads, & OMG Rodney is kind of more than okay at this game.


Later, Rodney finds a still emotional Dan and strengthens his Wow, can you believe Mike almost didn't let you have this experience? pitch.


The advantage Dan won at the Auction isn't your average advantage in the next Immunity Challenge.  It's an extra vote at a Tribal Council.


Mike and Jenn agree that there was probably more to Will's stash that he kept to himself, because no good deed goes unpunished in Survivor.  Tyler tells Will that Shirin, Mike, & Jenn are spreading rumours that there's more food, so Will grabs Rodney, shows him the empty box, they bring back the empty box, & then Will goes on a tirade against Shirin, as Mike & Jenn aren't around.

Does he have every right to be outraged that his generous act is now being met with suspicion, & that his character & trustworthiness are now being questioned?  Of course.  Should he realize it's only fair that this came up, since sneakiness and duplicity are parts of playing this game?  Probably.  But Will's reaction is far beyond the spectrum of reason.  So far beyond that it's nauseating.  So far beyond that I CAN'T EVEN. FOR, LIKE, THE 4th TIME THIS SEASON.  WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE.

Will calls Shirin "a greedy ass", & says she sits & eats all day.  Shirin's eyebrows raise & she asks him if he really has to speak to her like that.  YES I DO, he basically screams back at her.  And the fucking horns of Isengard rise & fall in the background.  Mike shows up & tries to get Shirin out of there.  Not before Will tells Shirin that nobody likes her (lolokay <3 <3 <3) & that nobody back home is missing her.  We all have loved ones that love & care for us - you have nothing.  WTF.  Like, for real what the fuck.  What in the actual fuck.


In Shirin's confessional, she comments that after growing up with constant verbal abuse, she gets worked up about it, but it's remarkable how cool & calm she seems to be.  One might even marvel at how collective she is.  Shirin points out that not one person aside from Mike said anything at all.  Pretty gross.

Kind-of-side-note: I'm in the middle of reading The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, & I immediately recalled The Bystander Effect while watching this.  The Bystander Effect basically shows that the larger the number of bystanders to an event resulting in distress or injury is, the less likely it is that help will be given.  In other words, when in a group where someone needs help, human instinct is to assume that if the others don't step up, it's probably not as big a deal as we think it is, because if it were, someone else *would* have stepped up & helped.  So we stay silent, & so does everyone else.  Pretty disturbing.  Maybe if Tyler had been the only one present while Will was yelling at Shirin, he would have said something.  Maybe Sierra would have, if she had been the sole witness.  I still can't get my head around the fact that this is happening with cameras all around.  Like, can you really forget that the cameras are there?  Really?  Yes, I know, I haven't experienced what anyone out there has experienced.  You don't have to send me messages stating that.  But I have experience being a human being.  And that's all one should need to *not* personally attack someone in this way.  I know I've said it before, & some of you have heard it many times, but really, just don't be a dick.  It's literally all anyone needs to do.  Just don't be a dick.  Don't.  Don't be one.

At the Immunity Challenge, Will asks to sit out of the Challenge in exchange for his letter from home. Probst says Sure, but only if nobody objects.  For a moment, everyone is silent & my redheaded temper is unsatisfied & I think I'm going to have to tweet something about Shirin being a better person than all of us.  But then...



And I'm happy!  Shirin's not a better person than all of us - SHE *IS* ALL OF US.


I mean, yes, she is better than me, because Shirin didn't make it personal & just said He bought himself out of the Auction & the game's the game.  I probably would not have been so civil.  Shirin's badass handraising doesn't get Isengard horns, because that's for the bad guys.  She gets Morricone because she's the fucking good guy in the spaghetti western this season is turning out to be.  CLEAN UP THE TOWN, SHERIFF SHIRIN.

The Immunity Challenge is pretty much an egg race with balls, & Mike wins.  (But imagine Vince in that challenge, dead last because he recognizes these balls as truth-seeking balls and is trying to use them to clear all of the negative energy out of the tribe.)

Rodney's bummed because he can't immediately build on the animosity towards Mike, but Will's pumped.


Mike, Shirin & Jenn agree to vote for Carolyn, but it will only work if Mike can convince Dan to vote with him.


Mike gives Dan a very impassioned speech about who has developed trust with him since Day 1, & seems to give Dan a lot to think about.  He's very upset that he's a swing vote, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense.  Tyler approaches him & calmly lets him know that his alliance was questioning him because he spent so long talking to Mike, & Dan completely overreacts.  He snaps at Tyler & everyone else with a childish kind of viciousness.  Enough of the game.  If I go with them, that's my choice.


At Tribal Council, Will gets right into what he calls "an incident".  Shirin makes it clear that Will didn't just explode over being questioned over the food, but turned it into a personal attack, which Will denies at every step.  It's appalling.  "He started talking about how I have no family, how I'm a loser, how more people in this game like him than like me in my entire life..."


"...that I have no soul, that he needs to pray for me..."


Shirin is extremely emotional, but does Will even acknowledge that someone is visibly upset, let alone that it's because of his actions?  Nope.  As Shirin is sharing the history of abuse that tore her family apart, Will continuously interrupts her to defend himself, saying he didn't verbally assault her, he just called her out, & when she gets called out, she "plays the victim".  He said it with the air quotes.  Yes, really.  Twice, actually. Shirin then notes that everyone was standing around just watching this happen like it was entertainment, & I'm so glad she did that.

Time to vote, votes are read, & Jenn is voted out.  Jenn leaves the Tribal Council area immediately.



One good thing came out of this episode:


#TEAMSHIRIN <3 <3 <3



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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Survivor: Worlds Apart - LEGO - Love You, Merica

Merica (*shudder*) just voted off Kelly, & Rodney takes Will aside once they get back to camp.


Mike's like Great job playing the idol & fucking up my plans.


Despite having an enormous chunk of salami & fresh fruit around the camp - presumably left over from the merge feast - it's not enough food for Rodney.  He tells Shirin to put another scoop of rice on the fire, & is annoyed that "Joe & his stooges" have been running the food ship ever since they merged.  Personally, I wouldn't consider anyone who follows Joe around "a stooge".  I would consider them a human being.  With eyeballs.  SORRY VINCE, IT'S TRUE.  Rodney is trying to keep his anger under control, though with his very own 3Cs.


The Reward Challenge involves untying bags of puzzles from balance beams.  The first 3 to finish move on to a puzzle portion.  First to finish gets to zip-line through the rainforest to a "pizza picnic".  Hi Jeff, everyone in the world just calls that a pizza party, inside or outside.  A Pizza Picnic is as much a thing as No Collar is a thing, which is not at all.  STOP TRYING TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. 

Nobody is shocked that Joe wins.  Individual Immunity is a double-edged sword, of course, as Joe now has to choose who shares his reward.  He chooses Tyler, Will, & Carolyn.  Probst says Pick one more, just for fun.  Rodney says I'm the most staahving, & Joe says, You're also eating the most, bro, & Rodney says, Whatever, bro, I'm just keeping it real.  I'm fine - if you don't pick me, I'll just go back to camp & think about Joaquin.

Shirin clears her throat.


Joe picks Shirin, who jumps up & down & runs over to Joe, who calmly tells Jeff, "That's why.  Right there."  Joe makes dreams come true.  SORRY VINCE, IT'S TRUE.

After Shirin almost zip-lines into a tree because she was too busy grinning to brake, they all settle down for pizza & cinnamon buns & pop.  Joe notices something in Carolyn's bottle.


He knows it's a clue, but how to get it before she notices it?


Carolyn leaps at the opportunity to give Joe the rest of her soda, & who can blame her?  SORRY VINCE, IT'S TRUE.  Joe chugs the remaining pop, & the clue.  When he removes it from his mouth, Tyler sees, & Joe knows he has to share it with him.

The next morning, Joe takes Tyler away fromt the camp to wash dishes & idol hunt.  Mike, who knew a clue would be at the reward, follows them, going so far as to watch them from the trees.



Soon everyone knows Joe has a clue, & suddenly nobody knows where Joe is, so everyone's looking for Joe/the idol.  Mike puts on a show, telling everyone Joe found the idol, & he does a much more subtle job with his acting than when he threw the memory challenge.  Joe's like Fuck.

Dan is speaking condescendingly to a woman again, & this time it's to Shirin, & I CAN'T EVEN.


He basically tells her she's stupid for siding with the lower numbers & Shirin's like I have plans, you don't understand my game, & underneath all her words you can hear FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE.


Then, THEN...


Then, THEN, THEN, as if that wasn't offensive enough for us, he says Shirin is annoying, so...



What a dick, right? 


(You can reach Dan at @chxdigme.  Seriously.)

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.  Dan then tells Shirin she's got no game left, she'll be first to go if Joe wins Immunity again, she sucks, what a loser, blah blah blah.  But he's not done being a complete asshole yet, BECAUSE THEN, 


 UUUUGGGGGHHHHH.

Meanwhile, Mike's eating termites, still looking for the idol, having an emotional moment.  He gets full-on montage music while he hunts for the idol, with inspirational messages skywritten across the sky, so it's no surprise when he finds the idol.

The Immunity Challenge is a series of slide puzzles.  First to finish wins Immunity.  Probst says Hey Shirin, this is *just* a puzzle.  Are you going to kill this challenge or what?  Shirin then goes FULL ADORABLE & says it depends on if she can supress her fandom, as she's still geeking out about being on Survivor.  On Day 22.  How does anyone not adore this woman?  Shirin says she has to contain her excitement, like holding in a bomb.



The strictly-puzzles challenge begins.


Everyone but Hali & Rodney are on the last puzzle, about which Probst says "You will know when you have it."  Mmmm, not so much if you're Dan, who incorrectly thinks he's right twice.  Clearly he's a fan who focused on basic math, but not basic spelling.
Joe, of course, wins, making him undefeated in individual Immunity wins.
Rodney is annoyed that Joe can't be voted out yet again.  All he does is win challenges.


Despite Dan trying to convince his alliance to get rid of Shirin, Mike is still running the show until Rodney finds a ship to take over, & Mike wants one of the other No Collars gone.

Shirin tells Jenn, Hali, & Sierra about the conversation she had with Dan, & Hali says something that makes me start liking Hali.


The girls say Wait a minute, we all think Dan's the worst?  Why don't we just get rid of him?

At Tribal Council, Tyler says that a chainsaw never split Merica into 2 distinct tribes, it just blurred the lines even more & yes, I wish I had a Beetlejuice minifig so I could make a Robin Thicke meme.  Mike says they're all gamers.


You know who would have been the best at tickling somebody's ear?


We were robbed, I tell you.

Dan says "Flippers never win", & Shirin says Excuse me, but Tony flipped all the motherfucking time & he won epically, so suck it.  A flag raises behind Hali, fireworks go off above her, & Will hums Merica's anthem, Livin' on a Prayer.



Time to vote, votes are read, & history means nothing as Hali is voted out.


With that said, Hali leaves the Tribal Council area immediately.






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