Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Survivor: Worlds Apart - LEGO - Rodney's Damn Birthday

Upon their return to camp after a Tribal Council that saw Shirin leave, but votes being thrown towards Dan, Dan starts trying to figure out who voted for him.  Will, one of the 2 who did, says Hey man, let's not do this.  Tyler says that he felt like he had no other choice, & later, Will confesses to Dan that he voted for him, too.  Dan gets super intense in a losing-your-mind kind of way.

The next morning, it's noted that it's Rodney's birthday.  For the first of 21 times.  I counted.  Rodney is hoping to win the reward because he's going stir-crazy stuck at camp.  Various tribe members throw it out there that they'll make sure he goes on a reward today.  Will says even if he has to give up his spot, he'll do that.  Rodney is confident.  "They're gonna take me on this Reward.  If I don't go on the Reward, it will be a sad, sad day.  I mean, my whole game will change.  But guess what?  The chances of that happening are 0.0000% chance, 'cause that's how much faith I have in these people."

The Reward Challenge involves teams unspooling ribbons on a may pole, releasing a key, which will unlock balls.  The balls need to land in targets via a catapult they need to jump on.  First team to finish wins Reward, which is delivering supplies to local orphans, and a BBQ.  There's a Schoolyard Pick to choose teams, & Will is left out.  This seems to upset Rodney because Will was going to give up his spot because, you know, birthday.
The Survivor gods don't give a fuck about birthdays, though, & Sierra, Carolyn & Mike win.  Jesus is thanked, but not by Rodney, whose team lost due in part to him having to go back for his lost balls at one point.

Despite Rodney's confidence that there was a 0.0000% chance that he wouldn't be going on this Reward, nobody is giving up their spot.  Sierra notes that she would have chosen him to join had it been an Individual Reward, but she never said she'd give up her own spot.

At the Reward, everyone is having a party like it's their damn birthday.  They're playing, eating, laughing - they are not relaxing, bro.
Forget about making orphans happy - the best thing to come out of the Reward was this exchange between @SonOfMomOfKai & @SpencerBGM on twitter.

I feel like aside from the misogyny we saw earlier this season, Rodney may be my SpiritBro.  It's like he exists just to deliver amazingly angry soliloquies.  "Fucking washing dishes on my birthday.  Nine miserable days left on this island that doesn't even grow fucking coconuts or any fruits.  Nothing!  It just has nothing here.  0 for 5 in Reward Challenges, and a bunch of scumbags who neglected me ON MY BIRTHDAY, who claim to be Survivor all bets are off.  Bunch of scumbags.  Not one Reward.  Unbelievable.  Caroline (why are names so hard for anyone to learn this season?) & Sierra...they ain't going to the end.  The only people who are going to the end under my me.  That's it."  And it's punctuated with an angry kick on the beach I MEAN HE IS GOLD.

Rodney joins Will, Tyler, & Dan at the camp, still ranting about his shitty birthday.

Rodney comes up with a plan to feign a quit.  He'll tell everyone he's done & wants to be voted out, Mike won't play his idol, & they can get him out.  It's not a terrible plan.

That night, Rodney puts on a show.  "I wish Tribal Council was today so you guys could put my name down.  Okay?  Have fun.  Have fun with your little game.  This is a bunch of fake-ass people - I'm done.  I need to get home to my real family.  I'm all set.  Mama C who's supposed to be a Mother, who says Oh, I love you Rodney, you're like a son to me.  You're like a son to me?  That's like saying if you leave your son home & you'd go out partying, & watch your son be deserted, at home.  DOING CHORES.  While you were out ON MY BIRTHDAY & I claim to be your son?  It's all fake...If it was any other day it wouldn't matter, but it was my damn birthday..."

For all his incredible work in that scene, it was for naught, as Mike didn't fall for it.  Tyler asks Carolyn in a roundabout way if she'd consider playing the idol for him.  She answers with a very common Mom technique, called Let's Talk About That Later.

The Immunity Challenge involves standing on platforms, leaning back over the water, holding onto a rope. Rodney is struggling & Probst notices.

Will falls first.

Dan is next.

Carolyn wins Immunity, meaning Mike has to play his idol if he wants to stay in the game.  Carolyn suggests that the guys vote Mike, and the girls vote Tyler.  Dan is concerned his name may be written down again, because Will wrote his name down before.  Rodney assures him that Will is with them 100%.  He is really all or nothing with his percentage predictions, whether it's 0.0000% or 100%, & I respect that.

Tyler makes plans to vote Dan with Will & Carolyn, to get rid of Dan's 2 vote advantage, but Carolyn is still torn over the best move for her.

At Tribal Council, Mike says he's playing his idol, & is enjoying that one of the 6 have to go home.  "I've got the fireworks out, some popcorn, some Pepsi..."

Good lord, if these people won't throw Rodney a birthday party, then Kai & I will.

Tyler tells Probst he'd be surprised if he's the one voted out.  Mike plays his idol, and we all get to see Tyler's surprised face.

Tyler is asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately.

Follow us on Twitter & Periscope at @MomofKai & @SonofMomofKai, & you can follow this blog on Facebook as well!

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Survivor: Worlds Apart - LEGO - Rodney Time

After a Tribal Council that saw Will continue his tirade of disrespectfulness, Shirin is reflecting on how awful the experience was.  Dan, someone who had previously wished for someone to just slap that woman already, is "really sorry about what happened last night at Tribal."  PUKEPUKEPUKE

Shirin asks Dan which part he's sorry about, & turns out he wasn't really paying attention.

Dan then has a confessional, and I CAN'T EVEN.  "Apparently there's violence in her history.  If that's the case, I feel very bad for her."

I wish the Reward Challenge had been trying to figure out the most offensive part of that sentence.  The "if that's the case", or the "however, that being said"?  Dan continues: "...Shirin is a drama queen, she is a two-faced liar, she looooovvvves to play the victim."  YOU AREN'T PLAYING THE VICTIM IF YOU'RE THE ACTUAL VICTIM, ASSHAT.

The Reward Challenge is actually a team race to get across a sandbox using only barrels & planks.  Winning team gets burgers (with cheese, Probst adds, making them, you know, cheeseburgers) & pie.  Various strategies are used.

Tyler, Dan, Will, & Carolyn win Reward - because if there's one person we all want to watch shove a burger in his face, it's Dan.  Dan says he feels bad that Rodney hasn't won a reward yet.  Probst points out that he can give up his spot to Rodney if he'd like.  Dan is silent, & most likely cursing Probst in his head, & Rodney shakes his head & says "I'll get mine.  It's all good."  And in that moment, I want Rodney to have all the cheeseburgers.  All of them.

Back at camp, Rodney performs a soliloquy I may use at my next audition.  "I haven't been able to leave this beach once.  I didn't go on one fucking reward.  I'm fucking pissed.  It's miserable, I'm not eating enough food, I'm shaking...I got an itchy beard, I haven't showered, my nails are nasty...did I say I'm miserable? Everybody's had a break, but I've just been locked in my cell 24-7, not being able to burst out & have some fun.  I need some Rodney time.  For my sanity, I need to get out of here."  Not to mention, he misses Joaquin something fierce.


At the Reward, Tyler focuses his energy on keeping Dan thinking about Mike.  "All he can see is top 6."

The Immunity Challenge involves holding a handle with a rope attached to a bag weighing 25% of their body weight (as of Day 1).  Up for grabs are Immunity necklaces - one for the last man and woman standing.  Carolyn wins the Immunity for the women, and it's down to Rodney and Mike for the men's.
 Dan is super creepy & whispers in Rodney's ear.

Rodney can't hold on any longer - or perhaps, he let go just to shut Dan up.  Mike wins Immunity.  Shirin is bummed she didn't win Immunity, too.

The rest of the tribe is thankful Shirin didn't win, because even though they can't get Mike out, it's an easy vote for them.  Shirin goes on a Here's-Why-You're-Stupid Tour of Merica, pointing out that she's not a threat, & they could be voting out Tyler.  Both Dan & Sierra say they agree with her, but their alliance is voting for her, so...

CBS finally shows Tyler doing something interesting, & that's stealing Dan's bag to root through it & find out what the auction's advantage is.  He discovers it's an extra vote, and shares that info with Carolyn.

Mike tries to convince Dan to vote Tyler, & is remorseful that his antics at the auction have affected a once tight alliance.  But the fact that Dan won't give him a second chance is making Mike wary of Dan.  "It's sad that you put your faith & trust in someone, & they turn out being a lot different than you thought they were."

At Tribal Council, the jury enters & everyone I'm watching with is distracted.  Everyone.
Shirin's past is brought up by Probst, & Dan has something to contribute & I CAN'T EVEN.  I CAN'T EVEN EVEN WITH THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO EVEN THIS SEASON.

Even Probst is like Shut the fuck up, bro, that is not even in the same universe as Shirin's situation.

Mike pulls out his Hidden Immunity Idol & declares that he's going to play it for Shirin.  Shirin is going to vote for Tyler, & he's going to vote for either Will, Rodney, Sierra or Dan.  So they can vote for Tyler with Shirin, or it might be them going home.  Shirin geeks out over both the play & the idol & it's adorable.  Even more adorable is how she skips off to vote while everyone else is still slack-jawed.
When it comes time to play the idol, Mike puts it back in his pocket with an "I love you, girl."  His bluff was enough to send a few extra votes Dan's way, letting Dan know he's on the bottom.  The bluff wasn't enough to save Shirin, who geeks out at having her torch snuffed.  <3 <3 <3

Everyone claps when Shirin is voted out, & it's gross.

Shirin leaves the Tribal Council area immediately, & with much joy.


Follow us on Twitter & Periscope at @MomofKai & @SonofMomofKai, & you can follow this blog on Facebook as well!